Friday, September 21, 2007

all of this story is fabricated, dont believe any of it. It is made up for the pleasure of my readers.


ok... Your probably worried your an alcoholic, thats cause you are... accept it and lets see what we can crack. You drink too much, sometimes as a chore before you go hit the bars so you can make it in time for happy hour.

so i sit here, listening to some chill tunes. relaxing after some breakfast remenicing on my night of raging out.

last night was rediculous, and i made out with someone far below my standards, and this isnt to talk bad about her looks (although they also werent up to par) but her personality was just lacking. Class 6 (!) clingon with emotional luggage, im not all about that. The only consolation i had was that i was leaving her home town to travel half way around the world. Hopfully I would never run into her again.
You might wonder, "that doesnt make me alcoholic" (although i would argue, along with my father, that consuming any alcoholic beverage makes you an alcoholic, if you wanna debate this one send me a message, i would be happy to debate) In the general sence of things i would have to agree with you. Getting drunk and plowing into a chick doesnt make you a relative alcoholic. You may loose some respect points from your friends or miss out on an oportunity with someone a bit more respectable, but hey, whats done is done. What might push you over the edge to alcoholism iswaking up in a skirt and a tank top and skateboarding three blocks through sydney to wake your 'friends'. Why else would you do such eratic things while still coming off your drunk from the night before?
I make it to my friends apartment, shamefree as far as my appearances of the current day are concerned, and I knock, and knock.
The door opens. "What do you want?" asks Adam in a incoherent groggy voice as he lays himself back down to finish his night's sleep.
"I'm lookin for something" I reply as I rifle through the mess that engulfs the room.
"what are you looking for" pretending to be interested, as best one can at that hour
"don't worry about it" no break in pace
I find the item that was described to me that morning, by my two sweetish sweedish roomates, (just kidding, they are very sweet, p.s. I hope your reading, you'll enjoy the ending) which is what motivated me to do what i did next, delete all the pictures and video! that was taken of last nights adventures.
I made my way home with a bittersweet emotion, pretty happy to have deleated the worst of the evidence, but still upset at myself fo my actions and overall lack of respect for alcohol. This feeling led me to make a phone call, after a bit more proding from my other not-so-sweet roomate, and friend, to my local AA. Luckily this AA was an in-house location and they scared me off the phone right quick. But the moral of the story is have more respect for alcohol than you currently do (if your my friend, otherwise you may have a healthy respect level), your not alcoholic, your a lush, and most importantly of all: "Shit Happens!"

p.s. I would like to say one thing. You can sum up this story, and feel real bad for the girl in this story like this: I got drunk, made out with a chick, and then called AA. I would like to say that she was not the primary reasons behind this but the event at which I decided to call AA. However, I still like the condenced version alot better than the full version.

do's and don't's

Do pick your nose in the shower.

Standards are everywhere, I have individual standards, and, with the help of alcohol, they can be lowered. But beyond individual standards is a dress code. A dress code of life and fitting in. I'm not asking everyone to conform, still be unique but seriously people. I'm asking people who are willing to listen, if your reading you probably fit in anyway. I'm talking about scene kids. I'm talking about people who look like they are going to a theme party in class on monday. Or that fuckin girl who dresses like a cat everyday! I'm talking about bumbs on the street. I'll even extend my view to people who look like they fit in but complain. There one secret to this world, and it comes in a phrase: Get shit done! I dont care what you want, you just gotta do it. You want a fuckin huge house and a yacht? No, you dont need to be a fuckin billionare, you need to budget if thats what your aiming for. You want a job? Your a bumb and complain? From the bottom, I'll help you out. Step 1, beg for money. Step 2, don't by alcohol, buy a haircut and a collar shirt and apply to your local mall for a janitor position or mcdonalds (if the mcdonalds drive thu tellar isnt already outsourced to india (yes people, this is happening, even our precious backup plans are getting outsourced)) Step 3, and possibly the most important, because i garuntee you are at this stage, set a goal. Step 4, like i said before, get shit done. Now obviously you say, "omg fuckhead you dont know what its like to be me its not that easy" I say "stfu newbie, you dont try hard" Maybe im writing this very article because i want to try something new, I want to be a writer and the only way to do that is to start writing about something.

The Leaman guide to throwing a party:
When we consider having a successful party you need to consider many things, 1st and most important, is an ample supply of alcohol (if you plan on charging at the door.) GIRLS, if you dont bring a girl, dont come to my party. It's simple you need lots of girls at your party and music. Come to think of it, just invite everyone you know, make it a theme party, plan some games like "suck and blow" or just pass a pingpong ball around the room with your mouth, play flip cup, make someone go streaking, write on people who pass out. It's all fairly simple, be in the game to have the most fun for yourself and you'll be having a good time.
update (sep 10 07): clean the place up. Facilitate congrication areas.

enough brain storm for today, stay stong world.

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